The final countdown...de na neer neer, de NA NEER NEER NEER!

Well, my appt to see the psychologist is in 3 days and I'll see the surgeon in 10 days! I think about getting the lapband every single day! I can't wait, and yet I haven't told anyone in my class. I'm in a 2yr. (one of those health professional programs) with 23 other girls and I see them everyday and will continue to see them for 2 years.It's like this giant secret that I kinda enjoy not telling. It's wierd to think that by the time we all graduate, I'll be smaller.

I don't know why I havent' told anyone.........well wait. Yes I do know why, it's a class FULL of girls and a good handful of them are 2 yrs. post high school so......news of my lapband would spread like fire. There's a girl in my class who accidentally got pregnant (in the program) and she told a couple of us in confidentiality and whatdoyaknow! It got around! I just don't want people talking about me...and I kNOW they would, just like they talked about my friend the pregster. Everyone in my program is a size 8 and under, seriously! It's pretty humiliating to be the only one, usually (esp. in America) there's at least a few of us that are fluffy in a class, but I guess I get to be the only one for 2 years. So everytime we discuss obesity factors, and all the comorbidities I feel a giant, HOT, spotlight on my face.

Plus, whenever we practice on eachother one of us is a patient while the other is the operator and we have to do a health history which includes: has your health changed since your last appt? Have you seen your Dr? and why did you see your Dr?

I know that if I told the 'operator' about the lapband surgery, I think it would still get out. And we keep all of our student charts together and they're free for the lookin' (even though we really shouldn't). BUT I just don't want that doubt, to creep in my head....."oh man I bet they know!"

But I also don't want to lie about it.....I could just say," yeah I saw my Dr. regarding weightloss and nutrition,yeah.

done and done.